Dear Mom:
I wish I could have said "good-bye". It sometimes seems unfair
that I never even was able to say "hello".
I am OK now; everything is better. I miss you and always will,
but I believe we will be together again, in time, for all time. Right
now though, that seems like an eternity. In time, it will be for
eternity.
Please, remember me, use my name, tell my family and your
friends about me. Never forget me or pretend I didn’t exist.
Thanks for all you did for me. Mom, thanks for putting up
with the changes in your body; thanks for everything you shared
with me. Thanks for talking to me; I know your hopes and
dreams for me. Thanks for the songs you sang, and for those
gentle pats you gave me while I floated inside. You may not
realize, but the rhythmic contracting of your heart helped me
rest peacefully and reassured me. As I grew, I could feel your
heart beating better and better, and it gave me such a wonderful
sense of comfort.
Thanks for the tears you shed for me. I know you did
everything you could for me,and I am fortunate to have you for
my Mother. I am sorry for the pain and sadness you have
suffered.
If there is something I have learned, it is that you will not find
the answer to the "why" of this, not now anyway. God did not
make this happen, but He will help you live, love and laugh
again. Sometimes that can seem very difficult when you hurt
and so badly want answers.
I want you to live today; be happy. Bring laughter back into
the house. Dare to dream again. You know so much better than
many that life is often too short, too unpredictable. Tomorrow is
never guaranteed.
I would rather this all be a very bad nightmare, but I can do
nothing to change that now. However, you can make something
good out of my death if you use it as an opportunity to love
others a little more, and reach out. There are so many hurting
people out there who need a hand, or a hug or a "hello" or just
someone to listen. Don’t be afraid to admit you may be one of
them. Be gentle with yourself.
On a still, clear night, look for me, out there in the peace and
quiet. Look up, not by the Big Dipper or the Milky Way, but over
there in the corner of the sky. See that small, twinkling star you
never noticed before?
One more thing before I go, thanks a lot for everything you
did for me. Thanks for caring and sharing. Thanks for trying and
for crying. I love you, lots. And Mom, "good-bye",
"good-bye for just a little while longer".
Love,
Angel Marie
